What is REAL love?
Wow. wow wow wow. Surprisingly, fs blog pun dah tukar image? I have not been updating my blog for such a long time that i don’t even know the features are upgraded! Well, of course, a change for a better one. This feature is more advanced than before. It’s so much more convenient than the previous one. Good job to the creator!
Many people have asked me why didn’t i update my blog lately? Well, it’s not that i have been busy. Juz that, i don’t feel like updating. Spare me.
Things has been happening for the past few months. For the better or worse? Both. I have some words of gratitude which i would really like to expressed. Especially these few days, things has been very hectic for me. The funny thing is, i feel like history was being repeated. I once again went to Yuanie, and she was all ready with her warming arms to soothes me back after a long loud sob. Two years ago, the same scenario happened downstairs at her apt, as if she knew what happened, and is ready to give me her arms. i juz don’t know why.. SHE IS THE ONE, by pros or by CONS, by co-incidence or by purpose, SHE will be right there where i needed her. You know, my legs were swallen, adding to the fact that my eyes were seriously swollen from the sobbing.
Why am i here? Oh yes. Blog is the best way to send messages, at least SOMETIMES, to expressed things we don’t know how to mouth-it-out. What is touching me is, afterall, family is still family. I never expect the deepest-repressed-closest-person, would appear to be so supportive, protective, enduring, ………. whatever it is u name it. And yet, one time after another, with my stuborness… One time after another betraying his care towards me. Making the hell out of things. Causing long term disappointment in him towards the attitude i have towards him.
i didnt want to be controlled by other people. No one wants to be controlled. Everyone wishes to be the dominating one. I am a young adult, i got my way thinking. I got my perception. I got my way of doing things. AND, this makes me stubborn. And selfish in decision. I had gone missing in acion B4, without a sign. Nobody knows where i’ve gone. i THOUGHT i need not aknowledge him as he will definately not give a damn. i have been silly. AND people are thought i went to commit suicide somemore!!!! I only got to know about this recently; me commiting suicide???? WTF!!!!!
Yea. i went and hide myself on an rarely known island. DOINK!! Then there spread the news that i cannot accept the fact and went to commit suicide.. MORE DOINKS???!! Again—–> WTFFFFF!!!!!??? I AM STRONG IN MY INTENTION TO LIVE and SURVIVE, I LOVE MYSELF THE MOST. HOW CAN I JUZ KILL MYSELF???? NONSENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yet, when i was at my deepest sorrow, loosing the sence of direction, when i thought he would be happy for what happened and pin-point laughing back at me… Surprisingly N. Moreover, he’s in more concern about the matter that is bothering me than i do, the one most worried that anything would happened to me. My BROTHER. My one and only CLOSEST brother. It’s so touching. i thought he’d gave me up longgg ago, and even to my deepest thoughts, i THOUGHT, he wouldn’t give a damn anymore to the whats-happening-to-me. I thought he will not care about me animore, juz like what he did to the other “2 girls”. MY PERCEPTION. My WRONG perception. HE Still loves me on his very own way.
i am sleepy. 3 nights out of sleep. I want to get a good sleep after this. Good Night.
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